The Lead

Taking a sip of tea from the cup he usually calls his favourite, the only biased side of his my team lead reads a piece of humorous sentence adding his style of recitation making the whole pantry resound with laughter , until HR intrudes with her eyes scanning every face to find out the culprit ; and that is the time I could see my team lead apologising for the whole team
Next moment silence takes a sidewalk on everyone’s face with lips which acts like they do not know how to utter words,until he cracks another joke and everyone sighs in relief for the normalcy cleaving the awkwardness which follows lit up and  brightening smiles.


Walking into a team leads shoes would make you face the circumstances where you would walk to get drenched in the rain yet you have to walk with an umbrella.
They are the ones who would take you to the next level from a rookie, holding every fault of yours as a learner; appreciating you for your achievements like their own .

Often making you curse the cons of being a human when you have to put your friendship under the dimmest light at the call of duty.

At one point you are celebrating your time together with your team and the next moment you have to behave as nothing out of that conference matters. As the badge of professionalism wouldn’t let you shun mistakes made by a team member and you have to take notice of that.
Being a team member you would only be in a dilemma on how to switch so quickly from a person teasing your lead and the next moment you have to take note of your mistakes for improvements.

Often he has his cup of tea but switching sides takes hardwork and patience to make team leading your cup of tea.

The guilt of being strict sometimes  is visible on his face which often seeks solace in making the members laugh .
I always anticipate what would I do when I’ll reach that level, carrying forward a project is not a big deal , but dealing with
what comes with it and after it while being defensive about your team and encouraging them for their hardwork followed by appreciation is how I identify a good team leader.

There he sits beside me while we work on a project and he says :
‘Hey, do you know you are a genius?’
I am happy to watch you grow so soon, is what he would say with lit up eyes and a grin defining your small victory and all you would manage to say is a thank you .

While you say in your mind:

Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for believing in me.
Thank you for not giving up on my faults.
Thank you for standing by me.
Thank you.

Oh, it’s tea time let’s do it later. Take a bit of refreshment, cons of being a human and I wonder if it’s the only one.
And the pantry resounds again
But this time slowly.

Special thanks to Birender Singh for inspiring this post.

Girl in the City

It  had not been many days, when I had to regularly travel to the city for work.
Staying at the outskirts for nearly one and half a decade made the anticipation towards City more welcomed and gave me a sense of winning back long- lost independence, in the cycle of education
and academics.

Little did I know that this consciousness of accomplishment was a temporary guest.
As I stepped into my new office, awestruck by the high end architecture I was surrounded with , on an extra comfortable couch; I saw a lady who introduced herself as an HR (later), walking towards me dissolving the whole self appreciation tinge on my cheeks into her lip colour which I mostly happened to notice in the magazines tucked in the corners of a beauty parlour which had me for grooming ( read: threading and hair trimming).
So,Adjusting my Kurti, I greeted back, keenly observing her glossy hairdo, swaying left and right, while following her to the auditorium with a sense of inferiority creeping into my head.
As, I entered  into the hall occupied with more of magazine looking girls, with kajal-ed eyes, perfectly manicured nails and dresses which were never a part of my closet ,that new born feeling
of worthlessness shoo-ed  the happiness which peeked inside only to never enter.

Never did I think, that apart from fancy restaurants, multi floored buildings and lights which would never dim, there would be something else which imbued the city. I was slowly emptied with the self pride I once had when I landed the job. Most of the time I spent was wondering ,how the girl who just
walked past me had that flawless skin. I started taking pleasure in overhearing those “girly”
conversations in the washroom which were about discussing mascara, the lip colour, nail-paints and whether they wax or shave.

No wonder, the “ woman” in me had a slow but gradual awakening. Resulting in , spending my first salary on a face epilator worth 4k, (as I was disgusted of my facial hair which I never noticed
before. ) 1.5K on a DE-tan facial at -lakme- to achieve that skin I envied, another thousand
bucks on moisturisers with SPF 30, face wash etc, the leftover ; buying gifts for the family.

Submerged in the guilt of not buying my favourite book worth 1.5k , I wished to buy on my first salary, I promised myself the next month’s salary won’t go in vain.
Sadly the awakening “woman” wanted to hop- dance , laugh  as the days passed.
Every month, I spent my salary on clothes, footwear and cosmetics, forgetting everything which I had promised myself to read. I was more aware of whats in the trend, thanks to the  washroom conversations in which I also started participating in. The ah lovely hair and wow what a shade,
was all I measured my ability to befriend new people and also the new life.

Coming home was nothing different. The little corner in my almirah I saved for extra books was now occupied with various cosmetic brands. I always carried astringent and toner with me with cotton balls. ( notice that I researched a lot what an astringent does and what a toner would).
Got my hair dyed, face waxed, feet pedicured and conscience hibernated.

-Worse, went on an extreme dieting plan ,until one fine day I collapsed midst a shopping ground with my mother.

"You are beautiful, always was, and always would be". said my mother, feeding me food herself (mothers are next to god) while I sat , staring at the wall in front of me, reminiscing everything I did in the last 5 months.

Teary eyed ( no the kajal did not smudge), I hugged my mom, for making me understand what I was doing to myself in few words, to fit in the world which is as temporary as a lipstick.

1 year later, I am doing what I always wanted to. Reading what I always wished for.
No, I did not stop grooming myself, if you are guessing.
The lipstick still tint my lips, I hardly step out without kajal,I take pleasure in discussing new trends
in fashion. Like a relationship which gets comfortable after a certain period crossing initial stages.

Now, I concentrate on eating healthy , rather than spending a fortune on extra expensive cosmetics.
Though the dressing did not see much change, but I am happy with myself and made a lot of
friends who appreciate me for who I am and sometimes what I wear as well ;) :P

Learned: You have to take some changes as the life goes forward. But, never let it change you.

Out of the blue!

A smirk that is bent down the chin-out of little happiness down the row,

eyebrows raised up out of excitement which is narrow.
a strand of hair that brushes the cheek,

 that giggle that bursts even when you are freak.

the streak of shooting star

lighting your eyes.
that one second silence of blush,
between the fight due to sweet lies.

that tear down the cheek,
due to nostalgia.
drooping eyes,in insomnia.

.

the soothing humming of the guard in the midnight,

mom caressing the hair when you are sleeping tight. .       

that paper boat of your childhood,
when you learned origami.

that knock on the door,
when you are missing your granny.

your name on the list ,
when you think you are doomed.
that unanticipated letter,
in gloom.

that familiar wave of hand in the crowd.
 suddenly  in the hot sun, the gathering of those clouds

the wish that once came true
there is something beautiful in the things happening OUT OF THE BLUE!

.

A BUBBLY LIFE SPAN

As soon as I opened my eyes born out of suds and a breath of sigh

meandering through the soft breeze, welcomed by every specie

I giggled ,rolled,laughed and played

kissed by the sunlight ,hugged by the shade,

adorned by all the hues

unfolding lips of every toddler,playing peekaboo

swiftly,gaily I move along

moving towards the beginning of another life

like a dream I come in front of your eyes

I am infinite-my life is not a disguise

try to feel me? ill disperse !

into the world of 

my very reason of existence!

without any remorse

cuz I am in the rainbow-I am in every source!

______________________________________________________________________________________